IRC fable

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IRC fable

Postby clunked » Sat Aug 23, 2003 9:01 pm

Dont ask me why I wrote this, the idea just came into my head :D
original sotry from, ... s/boy.html

There once was a /luser who was bored as he sat in EFnet channels watching the flame wars, splits and so on. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "ABUSE! ABUSE! The botnet is flooding me!"

The opers heeded the call of /stats p to help the boy drive the botnet away. But when they arrived, they found no botnet. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

"Don't cry 'abuse!', troll," said the netizens, "when there's no abuse!" They went grumbling back to their coffee, consoles and perl scripts.

Later, the boy sang out again, "Abuse! Abuse! I'm getting THE SPAMMER WRITING THIS CAN NOT GET IT UP spam!" To his naughty delight, he watched the the IRC operators /oper up to help him drive the spammer away and get their fork off his sausage.

When the operators saw no spammer they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'abuse' when there is NO abuse!"

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the network once more.

Later, he saw a REAL dronenet joining his channel while his firewall lighted up. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and messaged as many operators as he could, "Abuse! Abuse!"

But the netizens thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the troll hadn't returned to play his evening game of counterstrike. The boy was nowhere to be found. The netizens consulted their logs:

??? Signoff troll (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

Days passed, the boys connection was as dead as a DALnet server. Shortly before all hope was lost, the boy returned among the residual packets.

"We shall reboot the routers in the morning" the administrator said, putting his arm around the youth, "Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!"
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Postby Auriga » Sun Aug 24, 2003 2:26 am

hehe.. very cute. :)

The troll who cried abuse. :)

nice one!
Efnet Operator..
RIP * I'll miss you! :(
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Postby bobjuh » Sun Aug 24, 2003 6:12 pm

nice story :)
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Postby deww » Mon Aug 25, 2003 5:33 am

Ooooh! SCO will come after clunked now! He didn't properly get permission from SCO to do derivative work on an old fable that's been out in public domain for years! Ooh! /me calls the SCO police.

(Ok, I don't know if anything I said was true, pfffft).
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Postby clunked » Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:10 am

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Postby Isonaught » Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:35 am

I knew exactly where this whole thing was going after the first few paragraphs. You could've saved me a few minutes of reading by just giving us the "troll who cried abuse" punchline. :wink:
There's no place like localhost (feedback loop).
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Postby Code_Dark » Mon Jul 04, 2005 12:37 am

as dead as a DALnet server

Hehe... I liked that part.

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Re: IRC fable

Postby curse » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:56 am

clunked wrote: Days passed, the boys connection was as dead as a DALnet server.
that's hilarious.

nice fable :)
"Maybe these times will burn out..."

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